Our Last Day Together
This day began with suspense. We did not knwo when the potion would be ready, as it is a mixture with many strictly controlled components. The Palliative Care nurse, Rebecca, of the cancer center said she would call to get a more precise time. Mike and I were having our last breakfast when she called to say it would be ready before 2pm.
Between Mike's rests and my reading, we talked about our travels and experiences together that Maria could gather in some of our adventures in SE Alaska, Mexico, Ireland, Lebanon, Rome, and at home and on the islands. He finally asked for silence, the very poem of Pablo Neruda that I feel is part of our lives.
At 1:30, I got the pharmacy call. From that point, the tension rose. I drove to get the potion and back after 2. At 2:15 he took his first pills to moderate nausea and to relax the system to take the potion. We endured the hour as we awated the hospice nurses to arrive. We had the main nurse, Denise, the nurse who had visited Mike, Celeste, and a nurse from the Cancer center, Rebecca. We mixed the potion with Allspice Tea from El Pilar and brought it with a flex straw to ingest.
Despite the fragrant Allspice, the mixture was bitter. He chased it, as recommended, with a frozen fruit bar.
The estimate was 15 minutes to 5 hours.
The team was very supportive and stayed with us for some time. It was about 5:30 when they took off.
Mike said he would be quick, but it was nearly 7 when Maria said he was not breathing and had no heartbeat.
We called the hospice number to get an RN here to formalize the determination....
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| Mike with his frozen fruit stick |
This, now, was the wait for the RN who would make the proclamation.
Thank you Anabel for sharing Mike’s final days with us. I am heartbroken that I am still in the field in Peru and was not able to see him again and to tell him how much I love him and how important he is and always will be to me. Thank you to all his visitors and loved ones for filling his last days with as much joy as possible.
ReplyDeletethis is heart breaking . But glad that Mike is no longer in pain and suffering. Mike was a special person---unique in too many ways to list. God rest his blessed soul.
DeleteThis is heartbreaking. I just sent you both an email and sadly too late
DeleteSo sorry to hear this
DeleteAnabel, my heart goes out to you. Mike was such an important part of our UCSB community and lives.
My heart goes out to you, Anabel. Mike was many wonderful things, but above all, he was genuinely just a wonderful human being. He taught me so much, gave me my first professional anthropology job, nurtured me professionally, and so much more. I'm so lucky to have had him as a teacher and guide. May he soar the stars.
ReplyDeleteDear Anabel, I am so sorry, but I appreciate the updates down to the last one. Brian Haley's comment above covers some of my feelings about Mike's passing. I think he was one of my first professors at UCSB, in 1976, almost 50 years ago.
ReplyDeleteAlas, “El Tigre” (Mike’s nickname in Central America) is off on another journey, He’s an unforgettable force of nature, and I miss his physical presence. He is still with us in spirit. Nevertheless, I am going to miss him.
ReplyDeleteOne of the great mentors of my life. I remember going to the Channel Islands with Dr. Glassow and him scurrying up the sides of loose-stone hills while twenty-somethings struggled to keep up. He taught me about patience, priorities, and respectful discourse. Dr. Glassow was also loosely related to a childhood friend of mine, Tad Carr, who passed away from muscular dystrophy when he was 16. A total coincidence that I ended up being a student of his, but it was a coincidence that made my life so much richer.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to see that he spent his final days surrounded by family, friends, and beautiful artwork.
Anabel, thank you for sharing this even though it must have been so difficult. I will forever be grateful that he was my advisor. He was a good man in a world where I have known few. His was a life well-lived. Love endures.
ReplyDeleteOh Anabel, we are so sorry, knowing how much we will miss Mike. Sorry, too, that we've not been more in touch (due to family issues) but know that we are thinking of you in this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteI was one of Mike's masters students, and just learned of his passing today. I had lost touch with him, but often thought of him. Although I only studied with him for a few years, his impact on my professional life (and also, it should be said, on how I view myself as a person) has been tremendous.
ReplyDeleteMike was generous with his time, had an ability to be frank without ever being mean-spirited or cruel, and pushed for intellectual honesty and rigor in a way that relatively few people I know ever have. The world's a better place for having had him. Archaeology is a better field for him having both worked in it and taught so many of us. He will be missed, but he will also still be present through the impact that he has had on his students and colleagues.
You both were so stalwart through this journey. He certainly had a life well lived. I'm glad to have been a part. He will live on through many of us. Well done Anabel.
ReplyDeleteQuerida Anabel Le mando un fuerte abrazo y mucho amor🩷
ReplyDeleteSending lots of Love. Thinking of you. Thank you for sharing this journey and process.
ReplyDeleteThank you Anabel for sharing your journey with Mike on his final day, so meaningful. It is very moving and makes my heart swell. Un Fuerte Abrazo mi amiga.
ReplyDelete