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Dedicate Caregivers and Support in the time of Need

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How fortunate Mike and I were to have such an amazing support team! These dependable, resourceful, and sincere individuals cared for Mike, the household, and the dynamics of our lives that were ever changing in light of Mike's needs.  Their concern for timeliness, their assistance, and their reliability are so appreciated that no words can fully express our respect and esteem.  Mike's progress through the 8.5 weeks of daily radiation and weekly chemotherapy in fall 2024 was rough. He maintained a good attitude, but had to give in to slow changes. No driving, no walks alone, and lots of naps.  Initially, life at home was manageable, yet he was not showing improvement.  We would arise and eat together, share walks, and have dinner in a way that was comparable to our long-held patterns. Yet, frequent trips to emergency followed by stays in the hospital accumulated and took a toll.   I was unsure how to cope, and at the outset felt helpless.  It came ...
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Donated Body Program

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When Mike and I began to look at our life plans, we determined that we wished to make our end useful and selected the UCLA Donate d program.   We found that most prominent medical schools have a donated body program. We filled out the forms and were accepted into the program. This is distinct from donating body parts, as you might check on your driver's license.  In fact, that is not allowed as the whole body is the donation. When we did this, my mother agreed, and she applied and was accepted.  When she left us, she went to  UCLA. The  process was straightforward.    For both Margie and Mike, a call to the UCLA program was made, and they dispatched the team to recover the donated body.  For Mike, this turned out to take a long time, and it was well after midnight when they arrived.  The program is very sensitive, and annually,   first-year medical students at the David Geffen School of Medicine stage an event of gratitude for the ...
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California End of Life Option Act (EOLOA)

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  I wanted to provide some information on the procedure that Mike selected in his final days. It was a process, not simple, and had many suspenseful moments. While laws differ from state to state, patients must be adults, have a terminal prognosis, be mentally capable, and be able to self-administer the medication. The critical component  is to be able to understand and ingest the potion on one's own.  This means being conscious and being able to swallow.   I learned, as I proceeded to meet Mike's wishes, that this undertaking is ordinarily planned over weeks, if not months. We accomplished the operation in 10 days from the moment he expressed his wish on 7th December.  We were guided by the hospice team that took us through the steps.  We had to secure 2 doctors who would interview and confirm Mike's position and condition.  This was not easy.  After some challenges, Dr. Stoehr...
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We Would have been in Wrightwood!

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 We had a recent tradition to be in Wrightwood for my birthday on the 22nd.  We would go up on the 18th and stay until the 25th, when we would join our family in Glendale.   Over the past dozen years, we would invite our local friends, who would include the village, the near transition habitat of the upper Antalope Valley, and Dave Earl from the Palmdarte area.  We would have an open house and a festive, warm setting, often with snow! Here is a funny selfie (I'm never good at this) showing the snow on my birthday in 2023, the last time we were in WW for the occasion. Our main room in its welcome splendor  The first week of December, Mike said that he would not be able to be in Wrightwood for my birthday.  I could understand that the Thanksgiving living trip was not so easy, though enjoyable. He was more exhausted than he had been and was not walking much. Had we gone up to our cabin, it would have resulted in great difficulties.  The main Highway ...
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The Empty Chair

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 How many times have we sat across from each other, sharing the morning paper, discussing our day's plans.  Now it is empty yet my heart is full of our love.
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Our Last Day Together

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 This day began with suspense.  We did not knwo when the potion would be ready, as it is a mixture with many strictly controlled components.  The Palliative Care nurse, Rebecca, of the cancer center said she would call to get a more precise time.  Mike and I were having our last breakfast when she called to say it would be ready before 2pm.   I worked hard not to whimper, sollozar in Spanish.  Mike sees me as strong and capable and I should not cry.  It is so hard.   Between Mike's rests and my reading, we talked about our travels and experiences together that Maria could gather in some of our adventures in SE Alaska, Mexico, Ireland, Lebanon, Rome, and at home and on the islands.  He finally asked for silence, the very poem of Pablo Neruda that I feel is part of our lives. At 1:30, I got the pharmacy call.  From that point, the tension rose.  I drove to get the potion and back after 2.  At 2:15 he took his first pills to ...
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Winding Down

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 Mike was up to have breakfast together.  We were able to share thoughts and discuss things before I went out to campus to take care of hte loose ends there. Maria, who arrived at 8AM, helped prepare breakfast.  He takes the minimum of his meds, and we made his favorite veggie sausage patty.   Mike was animated and attentive as we both see the close of our life together.  He has had his lifelong companion to the end of his life.  I will have to cherish the time we had together. When I got back from campus, Mike was very sleepy and took the afternoon quietly.  He requested that I find out what is happening at the pharmacy that will prepare the potion for him. He is concerned that they have not communicated with us.   The call turned out to be complicated; ultimately, they were able to say that by early afternoon, they will have the preparation ready and will call.  There is a procedure and I now have the plan that includes 2 pre...
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